Sunday, October 2, 2011

Strong...yet weak

So many people lately have stated, "you are so strong". This phrase always sends me into a state of shock. I am anything but strong. I am at my weakest point to be honest. The reason I appear strong is because I have people all around me holding me up. They aren't physically holding me up (not always). But they are emotionally holding me up when all I want to do is crawl up into the fetal position and cry the days away. I long for the day I see Dennis again. I seek peace and comfort and yearn for happiness again. Until then, I rely on the strength of everyone around me and prayers for discernment in decisions I make. Others say, "you are strong and it must be because your girls need you". When actually it is because I am forced to accept this and I must bring myself through it as well as raise my children to be the least effected by the crisis of losing their earthly father as possible. I can sometimes put up the front that I am doing well when on the inside I am falling apart. I wish they made super glue for the heart, it would take a lot to rebuild mine. I appreciate the continued strength of friends and family and the prayers and faith put into action by everyone.
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