Angiogram and No answers

         On June 19, 2012 I entered Moses Cone Short Stay for my follow up angiogram to the repair of aneurysm surgery from last year as well as to maybe find answers to why I was having syncope episodes with headaches, dizziness, low blood pressure, and sometimes facial asymmetry. During the angiogram I was supposed to be placed under twilight anesthesia so that I could participate in breathing in and out and answering questions for the surgeon but not aware of the pain. Unfortunate for me, this time I was more aware of every single part of the procedure. I remember everything from the prep work of the sticky mat they placed over my pelvic area after washing me with ice cold Betadine liquid. Then the doctor made sure he could feel my pulse at the pelvic bone when the next thing I know I feel searing pain stabbing me. No, it wasn't him cutting me but he was definitely placing a long needle into my pelvic area to numb the zone. However, I had yet to receive any medicine via IV to help me zone out of the room into "I don't care what you do to me now world". I was not a happy patient and the entire time I was praying, "God please make me brave", "God be with me right now". Then the famous words of "Please pass me the ... " ....

         All I could think was "Dear God, please let that numbing medicine have worked because I do not want to feel him cutting me.". Thankfully all I felt was a lot of pressure and the actual squirting of my blood being released. (TMI - sorry). Even the doctor squealed and said give me some gauze for this fountain! It was like I was stuck in some cartoon. I couldn't believe I could hear and feel every single thing. The table was cold, the room was freezing, the tube entering my leg was stuck at one point and the doctor told me to relax and it would be a lot of pressure. Then I feel the tube continue up past my upper body and then to my ear lobe. I was feeling a little weird by now but still not "twilight". Every now and then he would tell me to hold my breath and he would release the dye into the tube and scope his camera around. The dye was warm and almost hot at times. It felt extremely strange. Afterwards, I was once again amazed that they had gone from my leg to my brain and used a camera and dye to view my arteries. Wow! Technology has come a long way and is still progressing. The great news was that I was aneurysm FREE! My previous ones are still repaired and no new ones exist!! So relieved!!

         However, this left me with so many questions. Why was I passing out with headaches and having symptoms similar to those when I did have an aneurysm? Why did I have facial asymmetry on Monday on the EMS ride to the hospital? Why do I feel poorly and weak afterwards? Then once home on Tuesday evening after the procedure I had another episode where my face went numb on the right side. Wednesday evening it occurred again where I couldn't smile but on the left side of my face and it lasted less than five minutes. It was really starting to freak me out. We called the on call doctor but they said since it had recovered itself to just follow up with my medical doctor. I saw my medical doctor today and she wanted me to follow up with Tonuzi my neurologist which I had already scheduled to do so for this Friday. He is very concerned about the drooping mouth and paralysis of the face with headaches and has ordered an MRI scan for Friday. I am not sure if this test will give me answers either.

         What I do know is I don't like uncertainty. I don't like not knowing the outcome of my health. I can't drive until we know I am safe at not passing out anymore. I am back at being dependent on others to care for me and my girls when I had worked so hard to be independent and strong. I am weary of fighting the battle. I have several friends that have been so kind and helpful these past few days and I am leaning on them and my faith to keep me going right now. There has to be an answer and I need doctors to stop guessing and start helping me so that I can start helping myself and being a mom again and enjoying our summer vacation.