Status Updates or Not?

           I made the decision to remove my face book account completely tonight. Not because I want to be completely removed from family and friends that live far away. But because I was tired of the I will read and write a post because it is convenient but it is too hard to actual show up and be a real friend. I need real friends. I have found that real friends exist whether I check face book or not. I have had some rough days the past several weeks. I have had prayer warriors, friends calling, friends texting, people mowing my grass for free, hanging curtains, making sure my kids were okay, and so many other amazing things without me even having to ask or come up with the list of "here is what I need". I always hated that, "what do you need?" question because I never knew what I needed until the last minute and people are human and can't physically change their timeline to meet your last minute needs. However, I also know that posting status updates and reading comments or waiting patiently hoping friends will give you reassurance to prayer request or status updates that to you are so important seem now so trivial. If I want encouragement from my friends, I can call them. Most likely they are the ones walking with me daily through the good and bad of life anyways so they know what I am facing and they don't need to read it on Face book status updates. I read recently on a post from Proverbs31.org site called A Widow's Might that

Most widows lose 75% of the friendships they had before their loss.- source unknown

Wow! That statistic blew my mind at first. Then I kept reading on through the post to find out the following--- 

First, that this is normal.Friends that love to be the helper may not have the maturity to stick with you when you climb out of your grieving hole. 

Second, that you can heal and forgive those who scatter. Your friend may simply not be up for the job during this season due to their own life problems and you can't be a good friend right now to help them with their life problem so you both go different directions. 

And third, that you can only heal and forgive when you can truly embrace your life as your own. When you’ve gone through such a loss you see life differently.  You’re not trying to make the perfect friend anymore.  You know to be open to loving people where they are, and accepting love how it comes.

So all this got me to thinking, is Face book really the avenue I want to use to continue to develop and cultivate my real friendships. Sure it is cool to log on and see pictures and read status updates and hit the like button. But, what did I do before Facebook? Oh, that's right, I took the time to invest in calling, emailing, texting, writing my friends and making time to spend "real life" time with them. I was part of their daily lives. I knew their struggles and celebrations and they knew mine. I want to get back to that place where Facebook isn't the only avenue that keeps me connected to REAL HONEST relationships. Because in reality, I believe Facebook has hindered me and allowed me to hold on to "friends" that should have been "de-friended" a long time ago but I felt like I just couldn't hit that button. Now, all 159 friends left on the profile page and 408 on the Support for Crystal page will have to decide if they want to keep in contact with me the old fashioned way via email at mommy2kaitlyn726@yahoo.com or phone or snail mail or text or at church or playdates, etc. Either way, it will take hard work on both ends, mine and yours to stay truly connected. Are you up for the challenge? I hope so. If not, maybe we will cross paths again when you are ready. 

Blessings,

Crystal Foster