Can I tell you something, during that song this morning, as the words flowed from my lips, I found myself pausing to confess to God that I was a whining mom and I needed a "time out". I needed a new perspective on the tough times I was facing. As the song says, "in my darkness night, you shine as bright as day" I must agree that God has always come through for me regardless if I have felt his presence, spent time in prayer, or whined like a baby because the truth is my relationship with Him isn't based on what I deserve. If that was the case then what I deserve is much worse than a "time out". But God loves me no matter what and in Him is no condemnation but total forgiveness when we come to him and confess that we have made a mistake. I confessed to Him at that moment that I was sorry for being whiney this week and that I needed Him just as much today as I have needed Him before today. I need Him to direct my path and guard me against decisions that I make out of desperation instead of out of prayerful consideration and waiting on His guidance.
After that I was able to really participate in worship today and release the guilt and shame I had placed on myself for being selfish this week. I am making it my anthem to follow through with the words of this song this week -- "I'll sing because you are good, and I'll dance because you are good, and I'll shout because you are good, you are good to me!" May my life celebrate with praise from my lips that no matter what in sunshine or rain that God is good to me and that circumstances of this life and people in this world do not determine my attitude. Only I can determine my attitude and I no longer want to be a "whiney mom" but instead a mom that models to her children and others how to handle the bumps of life with dignity.