So
I wonder how many women are sitting at home today sulking? Sulking because it
is Valentine’s Day. That holiday that comes once a year but is decorated in
every store, celebrated in every restaurant and commercialized by every jewelry
store in America – the cupid, the red, white and pink, the day of “love”. I
have been guilty of it myself. Even when my husband was alive, I would be
bitter if he was working at school and Valentines’ Day was on a weekend because
I wanted that day to be all about “me”.
I would be at home with the kids and wonder, “how dare he go off to work
and leave me home with the kids on the day of “love”?”. I mean sometimes going
away to work is easier, let’s just be honest. Staying home and entertaining
children and keeping up with the house is not an easy task. So I wonder how
many women are in that boat today, mad at their spouse because they are at work
either by force or choice?
Or
how about the woman that was in a relationship but is recently single whether
it is a break up from a boyfriend or divorce, either way that is a harsh
reality on a day like today. I imagine today is hard for them. They are either
playing it off as no big deal, and silently crying behind closed doors, angry
at the entire day and its shenanigans or still in a state of shock. Maybe you
have always been single, no kids and maybe no pets. That is also a road that
isn’t easy to walk. What about the single mom that wishes her knight in shining
armor was right around the corner with roses and chocolates? Actually she
probably just wishes for a babysitter—hahaha!
Anyways, this day has the potential to be so discouraging to so many
people—men and women actually. I don’t mean to have a one-sided conversation. I
realize there are single men out there hurting just as badly and raising
children alone too. I just am writing from my own experience as a flying solo
woman in this world.
What
I hope you and others take away from this entry today is that your Valentines’
Day doesn’t have to come from all the energy you put into your spouse or
significant other today. In fact, if you are putting your faith into a human to
meet your needs of intimacy and love then you are going to be truly
disappointed every single time. The truth is that humans cannot fulfill the
deepest needs and wants of intimacy that we have. I am not talking about sex
here, I am talking about “love”. I was guilty of this too. That waiting for my
husband to come home and make my “Valentine’s Day” complete, was thinking he
was the key to love. The concept of , “I can’t live without him or her” is
another false belief of “love”. You CAN live without your spouse and you should
go on living without them. You lived before they came along so why should
things change when they leave? That was my biggest mistake and I would do
anything to help someone else avoid this mistake. You can’t find your identity
and shouldn’t find your identity in your spouse or significant other. They will
never truly satisfy you. Instead, look up and see that the God that created you
and me is truly and madly in love with us. He wants to be your Valentine. Not
just on February 14th but every day of the year! God created us in his
image (Gen 1:27) and to do good works that he ordained in us before he created
us! (Eph 2:10) In other words, God didn’t think about us after the fact, he
created us for a purpose! He wanted us, he loved us, he wants us, and that my
friends is love!
Maybe you are reading this and you
wonder if God is love then why are you single? Or why do I feel alone in my
marriage? Be encouraged my friend that God knows your hurting heart and he is
just waiting for you to bring your hurt to him. You are not meant to walk this
journey alone. Maybe you have been
praying about this situation for a long time. I prayed for deliverance from my
pain for almost two years. Two years!!! For us, that seems like forever but to
God that is just a moment in time. So don’t give up. Keep praying and have
others stand with you in prayer. Maybe you are reading this and you don’t have
this intimate relationship with God that I am talking about. You wonder how I
can freely talk about prayer and love on Valentines’ Day given my past. It’s
easy. God is my Redeemer. He loves me unconditionally. In him there is no
condemnation of my past. He holds no records of wrongs like a spouse would and
he sent his one and only son Jesus to right all of our wrongs.
If you do not know the Lord Jesus
Christ as your Saviour, if you have never accepted Him in your heart, if you
have never asked God to be your Father, then simply reach out to him today and
make this a Valentine’s Day to remember. Pray this prayer-
Dear God,
I know that
I am sinner. I know that you have
sent your Son Jesus to save me from my
sins and he
died on the cross for me. I ask you to
come into my heart
today. In Jesus name.
Amen
You see, it
wasn’t magical and no fairy dust appeared. You probably didn’t float about as
you prayed either (I hope not anyways). But if you prayed this today, the next
step is to reach out and tell someone. Call a friend at church, call me, get to
a church on Sunday and connect to someone so you can continue growing in your
spiritual walk with God. You can’t go wrong from here! God doesn’t expect you
to clean up your mess first, he wants to bring you in the house with mess and
all, then you can clean up. Kind of like what us moms did this week during the
snowstorm. We didn’t make our kids undress on the front porch. We brought them
inside, slushy mess and all, then we cleaned them up! God is even better than the
best mom!
I will leave you with this – words
from Laura Story “Blessings” – when you get a chance listen to the entire song,
it’s a good one! It helps remind me that despite all the bad stuff and
circumstances that God is still sovereign and his love for me is undying. He is
my Valentine!
We pray for blessings, we
pray for peace
Comfort for family,
protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for
prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand
to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear
each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to
give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings
come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes
through tears
What if a thousand sleepless
nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life
are Your mercies in disguise
So I may be snowed in with my two kids and
have cabin fever. I may not get my yellow roses and favorite Japanese dinner
this year, but I am still blessed beyond all I deserve. I have loved and been
loved. I have life and I am living life like I never lived it before. I am
truly happy and it isn’t because of a box of chocolates- although that does
help (just keeping it real !).
So do something nice for yourself.
Celebrate YOU! Celebrate the life God gave to you! Relish in the love of God!
Happy Valentine’s Day 2014!!!
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