Sunday, September 11, 2011

Missing

Today I walked into church with my two girls and something was missing. The same something that has been missing for almost 4 months now. I watched other cars pull up with couples, families, or even in separate cars but reunite at the building. It sent my heart into a million shattered pieces that no one was able to pick up off the floor for me today. I miss him every moment. I wish people would stop saying it will get easier. I wish people would understand that when I don't smile it isn't because I'm mad or something is wrong other than the obvious. I just miss him!

2 comments:

kristyliz said...

You will for a very long time....and it is okay. I wish I could tell you what the future would hold or had better words of wisdom for you. But unfortunately I don't....all I have is my love for you and the girls, hugs from afar, ears for listening and prayers constantly sent your way. I love you my friend....I am here for you no matter when or no matter what...missing you so much...hugs from NJ...

Sissy said...

Crystal,
I know that we all might not understand what you are going through, exactly. While I miss my dad and mourn his passing, I cannot compare it to what you feel. But, in a strange twist of fate, there is another adoptive mom I keep in touch with through blogs and her husband committed suicide about three weeks ago. Her post today was eerily similar to yours. She has a three year old daughter and they live in Louisiana. When I found out about her husband Iain, I emailed her and she said she remembered me writing about Dennis in May. Her blog is http://lewisland7.blogspot.com/ and I don't know that you will want to look her up or email her, but I wanted you to know that she of all people will understand what you feel.

I love and you know I loved Dennis and it pains me to see what you are going through. This isn't easy and won't be easy for a long time. It's hard to grieve and still be a mom, I'm sure.

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