The 90/10 Principle

At the beginning of this school year we saw a very inspirational powerpoint at school that centered around the "90/10 Principle". At the time I was very inspired and thought, this is true. Now however, I think it is bologna because my life feels more like the 10/90 Principle or worse. So pardon me for a moment today as I use this blog as a means of releasing some bent up anger issues about life.

The 90/10 Principle states that 10% of life is made up of what happens to you in life and the other 90% is how you react to what happens. In other words, 10% of life is out of your control and your reaction to those events can make you have a bad day or not.

You can google the "90/10 Principle" and watch the inspiring slideshow yourself and it just might change your life but for this moment it just makes me more angry.

Well...okay so maybe if my bad day was spilling coffee on my shirt, or paint on the wall from a preschooler doing art, or formula on the floor but my bad days are built up of much more than that it seems.

Here is my 10% -

1. Beautiful baby girl born 4 years ago with vision problems and stayed sick her first two years of life

2. Beautiful baby girl born last December with vision problems 3- cleft palate 4- ASD and 5- many other health problems and can't seem to catch a break and get better

6. The state dropped our option for good health care so now I pay $60 every time my children see a specialists which in the case of Kyleigh is at minimum once a week.

7. According to the state department I have used up my FMLA for the calendar year and my current leave of absence isn't covered under FMLA which puts my insurance coverage on me and job protection at a minimum

8. Kyleigh keeps getting ear infections and her ear is still bleeding- no sign of things getting better

9. Kaitlyn has an unconfirmed case of the flu (H1N1) because doctor's office won't test it anymore but she has all of the symptoms

10. Bought a van that the sales person wrecked moments after I signed the paperwork and now they won't make good on the mistake by fixing the van

11. Feel as if I'm all alone in this universe with no one to talk to that can understand the struggles of being the mother of children with disabilities

12. Disconnected from my husband because we are both so busy- he has work and I have the kids

13- Is there really a point of continuing this list of complaints?

You get the point. I think that I'm close to giving up on searching for the light at the end of this gloomy tunnel. The good happy pills that the doctor prescribed only help short term. Drinking alcohol sounds like fun but isn't a cure either. So, according to the 90/10 principle I should look at all of my situations as the glass is half full and be positive. Well, that is bologna!

I dare any one of you to walk in my shoes for a day and react happily to all of these events. If you can walk around with a smile on your face and bitterness not in your heart then you can tell me it is all about God and how to handle life. Until then, ignore me if you will because I am having a really hard time believing that it is God's will for my daughter to have these problems and having trouble understanding that, "all things work to good for those that love the Lord".

On a more positive note, I do believe it is part of the perfect plan that I am home right now to take care of my precious girls. I only hope I can maintain my sanity during the process. Good night all and sorry for the venting, but I warned you from the beginning.

90/10, I say 10/90 - 90% of what happens to me I can't control and it is the way I react that controls the other 10% of my day. That just sounds more realistic. Of course, I only teach 5th grade math so one could argue I am wrong.